_When I transitioned from one church to another, I wanted to leave behind some ideas to help the church in conflict resolution and leadership. It took me quite awhile (over a month) to be ready to write this article. I needed to check my own motives, to put this out for public consumption not for my own benefit or to grind my own axe, but to offer some suggestions to churches in handling high-level conflict (that is, conflict caused by, created by, or within church leadership).

For the right motives, I think churches look past areas of conflict, wanting to see the best in people. But some people are troublemakers, bent on getting into leadership as a way to get their own way, and patterns of previous behavior demonstrate this. In my opinion, people with past histories of divisive behavior need to give an accounting of what they have learned and how they have changed before they ever get appointed to leadership. Leadership in the church should be carefully guarded. After all, leaders are to be overseers who will give an account to the Lord of their oversight of souls (Hebrews 13:17). They are to lead willingly, as examples, not lording it over others. How can one lead with the proper humility, service, and teaching if that person is more concerned with getting their own agenda built in to the church's program? These "leaders" are exposed as the wolves that tear flocks apart (Acts 20:29).

When you, or your church, experience conflict, follow these guidelines to find help:

1. Listen to those you trust and follow up. If a leader or someone else indicates to you that something is wrong, listen to that person, especially if you trust him. In very difficult situations, leaders will not come out with direct accusations. But they may indicate, directly or indirectly, that not everything is as it seems. If this happens, they are looking for help. Follow up and help how you can.

2. When conflict exists, the best thing you can do is be a student of observation. Pay attention to what is happening. Note who is doing the most talking about the problems. Those who talk the most are usually (but not always) the ones who are creating the conflict. The extra talk comes in because they need to firm up their agenda with others and find out who is and is not "on their side."

3. Remember that we all serve God in his kingdom. It is Christ's church, not mine, and not anybody else's. God leads us, and we need to follow him.

4. Most churches have everything they need to move forward. Although many weaker churches have doubts about their ability to self-govern, or of their men to be qualified as elders, they can still hold teachers, preachers, and other leaders accountable to the gospel, to stick to it, to preach and teach it, and to lead by it.

5. Remember that leadership is service towards maturity, not decision-making.

6. Be very slow to appoint to leadership. Observe the "track records" of those who are put up for leadership. Be objective with this, not subjective. If someone has a track record of causing division and church splits in previous congregations, they must be able to give a narrative about why those things happened, what they learned, and how they have changed or what they would do differently. Discuss potential weaknesses with prospective leaders. Real leaders accept blame and responsibility for results and are willing to discuss how they've grown and changed. Fake leaders are not.

Absalom's conspiracy against David (beginning in 2 Samuel 15) reminds me of many modern church-based conspiracies. Conspiracies form because people are insecure about their standing or themselves. They are a way to avoid direct conflict (though they create indirect conflict). They always begin with someone selfishly seeking power or trying to consolidate whatever power they think they already have. They do so by meeting people's surface needs, pointing out inadequacies in the system (and how they can fix them), building other up with shallow praise, and assigning blame and fault to those who are leaders. But a conspiracy of this type is always wrong.

In Absalom's case, he conspired against the Lord's anointed, David. Ultimately, Absalom lost. David was successful in outlasting Absalom for two reasons: 1) God was with him and for him; and 2) he was self-aware of what was going on around him. When he was criticized by someone from Saul's clan, he permitted the criticism. He said, "Who knows if the Lord told him to say this?" David  knew that some criticism was justified and valid...and this man went straight to David with his criticism; he did not form a conspiracy.

In Matthew 18, Jesus taught us not to conspire with others against an enemy or build ourselves up at their expense. Rather, he taught us to go to the one who wronged us and work it out by talking to them.

If you find yourself refusing to talk to someone you have a problem with directly (indirect forms of communication such as letters and emails do not count) you may be close to committing sin. Be careful not to conspire or to triangulate others in to your problems with another. As Jesus taught us, love God and love your neighbor as yourself.